I have been writing the Sophia’s Story blog for almost as long as we have been without our Sophia. Before starting it, my husband encouraged me to write down our story of how we loved and lost her within a few short turbulent months. It was not an exercise of catharsis, but rather a means of clinging to her memory. I did not want to forget a moment of our often grief-filled–yet the most profoundly love-abundant–journey I have ever endured. Putting my emotional-filled words on this public forum was a way for me to ensure others would not forget either.
The connections I have made with other parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends of those who have experienced loss have been invaluable in not only my own healing process, but also in finding a deeper life purpose. Writing has always been of interest to me. As a young child, I made books with cardboard covers and plastic bindings, always optimistic that a publisher would accept my childish illustrations of dinosaurs whilst overlooking the grammatical errors that only a seven-year-old would make. Never discouraged, not even when a rejection letter arrived at the house in response to my type-written query, asserting myself using vibrant language has permeated throughout my life’s endeavors. While my career took a direction far from English and written expression, the tiny spark of imagination that flourishes in my writings never extinguishes.
Several years ago, Sophia fanned the flames. Her deeply moving role in our family emboldened me to begin writing again after years of dormancy. Her legacy continues to carry my writings as her gentle soul provides infinite inspiration. Having the devotedness of allies who have read my posts about both Sophia and our rainbow baby Evelyn has given me the courage to continue to share my thoughts, feelings, and deeply personal musings. My life has a renewed purpose. The brilliance of writing lies in continually finding myself in awe of my own writing. I can only dream that others feel the same.
After experiencing a lot of rejection as I have attempted to connect with a larger community, I have finally broken through to what should prove to be my biggest audience to date. Waking up this past Monday morning to an email stating that my recent piece To the Woman on the Plane (previously posted on Sophia’s Story) will publish on the website Scary Mommy brought my pride to a whole new level. The excitement coursed through my thoughts all day. The news hijacked every activity in which I attempted to engage. My joy was nearly palpable as I finally grasped how my writing is as meaningful to others as it is to me.
With Sophia always as my angelic inspiration, each post is formulated with the upmost love, respect, and admiration for not only myself but for others who struggle through their own journeys. With Evelyn as my hope-filled inspiration, each piece is designed to contrast the peaks and valleys of life.
I hope my girls will be as proud of their Mama as I am of myself.
Take a moment to check out my piece To the Woman on the Plane to be featured on Scary Mommy Friday, November 11, 2016. Let’s find the compassionate link between us all. Please share so we can connect the world.
Laura Gaddis 