NICU days

Embarking on week three, we have become NICU regulars. The nurses know us, the social workers know us, the other parents know us, the volunteers in the Ronald McDonald Family Room know us. Days filled with occupational and physical therapy, attempts (sometimes more successful than others) at bottle feeding, pumping every two to three hours, and scrutinizing the monitor (all while trying to peel our eyes away) suck the residual energy remaining in our sleep-deprived bodies.

Evelyn is largely doing very well, and focusing on her progress each day drags us mercifully through the worrisome moments. When oxygen levels dip quickly, from 99 to 56, wild beeping alarms ensue. As panic swells, our calm(ish) musings to Evelyn are our best attempts at reminding her to breathe. Gentle strokes on her soft, chubby cheeks sometimes wakes her enough to inhale a few sharp, shallow breaths, relieving the alarm from its notification duties.

Like recurrent pregnancy loss and infertility, there are so many more people thrown into the world of caring for a premature baby than I had ever imagined. While this is new territory in our lives, the familiar understanding that while each family’s story is different, we are all connected by having a similar intimate comprehension of this journey. Like recurrent pregnancy loss and infertility, the journey is lonely, yet we are never alone.

Published by lkgaddis

I have been working on this memoir-style project for a while now, and I'm excited to share it with others. My hope is to get as wide an audience as possible, and to receive comments, suggestions, and ideas to improve and expand what I have. I also want to encourage others to become curious about the topic of babies, and the loss that can come with the adventures of trying to start a family. In the world of celebrating healthy babies, we who know otherwise need a voice too.

5 thoughts on “NICU days

  1. As usual, your words are like Hemingway or one of the other great authors. Your words give us a window to your feelings, vulnerability and hope. Hang in there. Everything is possible by God. Just keep praying and know that he is in control.

    Liked by 1 person

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